A Drop In The Ocean
by LalaEveryDay
Summary: She's my heaven in hell. So why did she have to go? Rated T. Based off the song by Ron Pope.


**Hello! I really love this song, and was inspired to write a songfic about it. It may be a little sad, but I haven't written it as I'm writing this authors note, so I don't know how it's going to end up. Enjoy!**

_**A Drop In The Ocean, a song-fic based off the song by Ron Pope**_

_A drop in the ocean,_

_A change in the weather._

_I was praying that you and me might end up together._

I don't know what I can say about Loren Tate. She's beautiful, she's smart. What can I say? She's everything I've ever wanted. So why did I let her go so easily? She was right in my grasp, so close, yet so far. But now, she's gone. Funny thing, I was praying that we would end up together. But I don't think my prayers were heard. Because she left, and she's never coming back.

_It's like wishing for rain,_

_While I stand in the desert,_

_But I'm holding you closer than most._

_Because you are my heaven._

It's a pointless cause, really. I know it is. It's going to end up no where. One day in the future, I'm going to end up with kids and a family and Loren will only end up a distant memory. But I can't see me with anyone else. Loren is the only thing I want. But I can never have her. But I'm clinging to her in my thoughts, because she's my heaven in hell.

_I don't wanna waste the weekend_

_If you don't love me pretend_

_A few more hours then it's time to go_

I checked my watch, then frowned at the time. Three more hours until my train leaves. I didn't want to go anywhere, I just wanted to be left here to rot. But I was forcing myself to go. It would give me closure. But I didn't want closure, that's the thing. I wanted her. Simple as that. Is that so hard of a request? But I didn't want to waste the three hours I had before the event. I was in a beautiful city, a small town in Pennsylvania, but the person I needed wasn't with me. I wanted to enjoy it, but nothing was enjoyable. And I felt like it never would be again.

"Eddie?" A soft voice called, making me turn my head to the door. A woman, Aspen, stood in the door, her white hair popping from her head in tuffs. Aspen was sweet, always checking up on me and asking me to join them whenever they went into town. She was wearing a dress that dropped to her ankles, hanging like a curtain on her full figure.

"Yes?" I replied. I tried to be polite during my stay in her home, but sometimes it was hard to speak so I just ended up being silent.

"It's time to go to the station now. It takes a while to drive down." I nodded, then stood up and brushed off my pants before grabbing hold of my bags. Aspen's eyes shone with tears, but not because I was leaving.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" She asked. I pursed my lips and nodded.

"Like I'm being lit on fire while being dipped into a freezing cold ocean at the same time. You feel both pains, but neither soothes the other," I told her. A tear slipped down her wrinkled cheek.

"I know, it hurts," She murmured. "Time to go. Come." I followed her through the oak door frame reluctantly, dreading the next few hours. I was hoping that maybe just for this weekend, she'd come back.

Pointless hopes.

_As my train rolls down the east coast I wonder how you keep warm_

_It's too late to cry_

_Too broken to move on_

Three hours later, I was on the train. The shades of green from the trees flew by, caused by the thriving trees. I could've stared out that window for hours. But the trees reminded me of her, and how much she loved them. And it was too late to cry at this point. Three other people right next to me are dealing with the same thing I am right now, but they've known her her whole life.

No, it wasn't fair for me to cry.

"Excuse me," A girl asked, walking up to our row. She had long, curled black hair that reached her elbow, with blue eyes and a large, perfect smile. She was pretty. Really pretty. But I could never think of her that way. I was too broken to move on. Too sad. In too much denial.

"Yes?" Aspen replied kindly as her husband, George, pulled out a newspaper.

"My brother was being an idiot and threw his plane back here. Could I see it, please?" She was polite, as well. Aspen smiled and handed the girl a plane that was nearby her. The girl thanked her and went back to her seat, leaving the four of us.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore_

_No_

_No_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away_

New York. A city Loren always wanted to see, but never got to. I guess that's why it was being held here. It was a beautiful city, but it seemed to happy to hold an event like this. It was overcast, which was suiting, though. Aspen, George, and their son, Mike, stood on either side of me, as we approached the grassy green area. I was holding back tears and my hands were shaking. I swallowed several times as we reached the gathering area. Hordes of black swarmed my vision. I knew most people, like Adrianna and Adam, but there were a few faces I didn't recognise. I wish I hadn't seen Melissa, though. Her eyes were red and puffy and fulled with tears, her hair was messy even though it looked like she tried to do it. She stared at the trees surrounding the site, as if maybe they would save her from this hell.

At least, that's what I was thinking.

And then there was Nora. She was dying on the inside. You could tell by her face. She was being supported by my dad, who was also a wreck, but it looked like it was taking everything she could to not start sobbing right then and there. People were talking, and I got several sad glances. It didn't take long for the service to start, though.

"We are gathered here today in loving memory of Loren Tate," A preacher said. I heard a sob- Melissa- but what had my attention the most at that moment was the coffin. My whole body was shaking, now.

"She was young, free, and talented. She will be very missed. Before we begin, would anyone like to say any words?" The preacher asked. Melissa stepped forward, tears streaming down her red cheeks.

"I would," She croaked, "Loren has been my best friend since preschool. She was the little girl with the butterfly dress and she shared her Goldfish with me. She's stuck by me since. She'll always be by me. I know that she will, because we promised one day when I had the flu and she went on this website and found out people have died from it. Of course, we were young, but we promised each other then that we'd be friends even if one of us died. I hoped that it would never come down to that. But, before she's buried, I want to make sure she knows that she's by one and only best friend, and that no one will ever replace her. Ever," Melissa said, choking on the last word. "I love you, Lo," She whispered. She didn't bother wiping the tears off of her cheeks. No one did. A few more people spoke, including Nora and my dad. But I couldn't pay attention. My heart hurt like I had just been stabbed, because now it was dawning on me that Loren was gone.

"Would anyone else like to say a few words?" The preacher offered. I stepped forward, quickly to make sure that he saw me. He nodded towards me, and I started speaking.

"Loren is my world. She means everything to me. She's my heaven in hell. And the fact that she's gone kills me on the inside, because she didn't deserve to go. She was the most kind-hearted person I've ever met. So many times I've wished it was me instead of her. But I know that's not how it's supposed to be. The truth is, I've never felt so close to heaven. Because I know that Loren's there, and suddenly it doesn't feel so far away. Maybe because she was my heaven. But Loren... Loren isn't here to hear me say this. And she won't be here to hear me say anything again. But I know that she knew I loved her. Because I did. And I'll love her even if she's not here. I just want her to know this. I want to tell her one last time. Loren, I love you." The words poured out of my mouth faster than I could even register what I was saying, but people stared at me in awe. My eyes, however, were just looking at the coffin in front of me.

Goodbye, Loren, I thought, I love you.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore_

_No_

_No_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away_

**Holy shit. That was sad. Did not expect it to go that way. Damn. I'm crying while writing this. Well, sorry you had to read that.**


End file.
